## How do we make friends? Making new friends as an adult can be hard, as there's less context of meeting. When you're younger, lets say student, it is easier to make new friends: we're constantly surrounded by a lot of people and making connexion is as easy as just jumping from one group-friends to another. Once you quit school and start your job, there's less opportunity to meet new people. Talking about this with a friend who always had social facilities, he give some great piece of advice about how he meet new people and start to genuinely making new friends. Those advices seemed obvious common sense for him, yet, it echoes what I read in Dale Carnegie's bestseller [How to Win Friends and Influence People](How%20to%20Win%20Friends%20and%20Influence%20People%20-%20Dale%20Carnegie.md). Like what there doesn't seem to be a lot of different solutions to make new friends. Making new friends, meeting new people is something that can be practice. There's maybe less logic than wokring on pure skills, but still. It's a lot about letting things go, with spontaneity, [serendipity](Serendipity.md) and attitude. There's an attitude to have when we want to make new friends. Smile genuinely to people, be open to conversation, meaning: ask for details, ask questions, give hints, have an open body language... In sum, [Have better conversations](Have%20better%20conversations.md). When start conversation, always start like you're already friend. Small talks aren't interesting. If you want to be friend with someone, act, talk and asks questions like you already are. By putting ourselves in situations that help to meet new people will favor it: bar, concerts, festivals, museums... Don't hesistate to center this around hobbies, because we always have something to share with the people participating in events around those. Also, using your hobby to meet people helps: play music in the street, do mmagic tricks, ask to make drone video of people *(if you like flying your drone like I do)*. ## Dale Carnegie's principles 1. Don't criticize, don't condamne, don't complain. 2. Genuinely compliment. 3. Motivate people to do what you're supposed to do, don't constrain. 4. Be genuinely interested in others. 5. Smile. 6. Remember the name of the people you meet, it has a significant importance for them. 7. Know how to listen. Encourage people to talk about themselves. 8. Talk about what interest your interlocutor. 9. Make people feel how they're important, and do it genuinely. 10. Avoid controversies, it's the only way to win. 11. Respect other's belief and point of view. Don't tell him·her he·she·'s wrong. 12. If you're wrong, admit it promptly and energicaly. 13. Start in a friendly manner. 14. Ask questions that will say "yes" immediately. 15. Let your interlocutor talk with ease. 16. Let your interlocutor the pleasure of thinking that ideas come from him·her·self. 17. Genuinely do your best to see things from your interlocutor point of view. 18. Welcome other's ideas and desire with sympathy. 19. Call for high feelings. 20. Spectacularly demonstrate your ideas. Hit view and imagination. 21. Make challenges. 22. Start with genuine compliments. 23. Let see errors and default indirectly. 24. Highligh your errors before fixing others. 25. Ask questions instead of directing orders. 26. Let your interlocutor save face. 27. Party for every progress, warmly and generously. 28. Give a beautiful reputation. 29. Encourage. Errors should seem easy to fix. 30. Make people happy about doing what you suggest. ## References - [How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie](How%20to%20Win%20Friends%20and%20Influence%20People%20-%20Dale%20Carnegie.md)